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Singleness and prayer: what is the connection between them?
Singleness and prayer and sexuality
C. S. Lewis said
Hell is the only place outside heaven where we can be safe from the dangers of love.
Richard Foster when talking about singleness said
One of the great challenges for the Christian faith today is to integrate sexuality and spirituality within the context of the single life.
I believe we are living in times when single people will soon be in the majority within the Body of Christ. And I am not talking only about the single people who are anticipating marriage but also about those who lost a spouse or even about the many more who are divorced.
One of the greatest mistakes the Church can make is to believe single people do not have sexual needs. Needless to say, that countless single people who love the Lord struggle with their sexuality.
There are many questions single people ask themselves. Is self-gratification a sin? How do I deal with the feelings and thoughts of lust that seem to control my heart? What is lust? Many even question the biblical reasons for the ban on intercourse outside of marriage.
Single people are not asexual. We are all sexual persons—single or not. Moreover, we should not try to reject this truth. God knew how to create us when He made us into His image—male and female. And our sexuality was God’s idea!
Singleness and prayer
As many other single people I did battle sexual temptations every day. Now that I am married things are changed but I am not immune to temptations. Pastor Jack Hayford said once that he realized as he grew older that the sexual temptations did not decrease. The only difference was that in time he became stronger in fighting the temptations. In the end, this is the whole idea—how do you deal with temptations? Sexual temptations will always come.
How can one deal with the sexual thoughts? I know of no better answer than the Word of God and prayer. The scripture that changed my life can be found in Philippians 4:6 (ESV)
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
I remember meditating on this verse and studying it and reading commentaries about this scripture. It changed my prayer life forever.
Singleness and prayer—help against pornography
Philippians 4:6 changed the way I battled pornography too. This verse says to be anxious or be careful for nothing or not to worry for anything. How can one do that? Alternatively, should I not worry about my sinful bondage (pornography) and live my life? Because my corrupt behavior bothered me and made me anxious, is this scripture telling me not to worry about it? I like how Dr. J. Vernon McGee explained this verse: worry about nothing, pray about everything.
However, the Bible says I should be anxious about anything or nothing— and nothing is nothing. Needless to say, this does not mean I do not have to face my problems, my sins and weaknesses. It does not say I have to pretend I have no issues and all is well with my soul when it is not. It does not mean I have to ignore the reality of my life and my duties.
We are supposed to be anxious about anything because we have God to pray to about everything! Again, everything is everything. Therefore, I have learned that I need to talk to God about everything that is happening in my life— even about my struggle with sin. Or especially about it. There should be nothing left in the life of a believer that he or she does not talk to Jesus about.
Singleness and prayer—be honest
The lie I was believing was that my struggle with sin is too big for the Lord. However, before God, there is no such thing as a big problem or a small problem. All of our issues or struggles are small for Him. If you have significant problems then you have a small God. The opposite is also true— if you have a great God, then you will realize that all of your problems are small for Him.
Moreover, God is telling us to bring everything in prayer and supplication to Him. Both the small and large problems need to be taken to the Lord in prayer. And we need to talk to Him about them. God is interested in every detail of our life, and He cares about everything that is happening to us. He is the only One who can do something about it.
I began applying this truth in my life, and I was transformed. So, I started talking to God about my sin, my sinful desires, and temptations. I began asking the Lord to tell me how does He feel about it and what I can do to walk in freedom. And I started praying the Word of God and the promises of God for my life. However, the verse is also saying that I need to bring everything before the Lord with thanksgiving. Therefore, I have also learned to spend time worshipping and praising God for the healing and freedom He is giving me— by faith.
Prayer and a breakthrough
Prayer is the secret of power, someone said. However, prayer is not a monologue; it is a dialogue. I have learned that after I pray, I always need to spend time waiting for the Lord to answer. Often, I believe we say the Lord is not answering our prayers, but we did not pay the price to wait in expectation for His answer. We just prayed and left God’s presence without asking the Lord what His solution was for our supplication.
Yes, it is one of the most amazing things I experience in life— talking to God and waiting for God to speak back to me. An ongoing conversation between my Creator and myself— the created.
So, you see, after I have learned that I need to talk to God about everything and give Him all of my anxieties and worries, something good happened. I realized I feel lighter and emptier of myself and more filled with His Presence! Faith was pouring out on my heart, and I started to see that it is possible and it is not that hard to walk in purity with the Lord.
Singleness and prayer and the love of God
By praying about my issues and giving them to God I made room for Him to fill me up. I gave Him space to work in my life, and He gave me the power I needed to face temptations and sin. It became my daily morning routine to pour out my heart before the Lord with all of its sinful desires and anxieties. And the Lord in exchange gave me His shalom/peace. One cannot experience peace before he or she pours out his heart before God.
How about trying it out for yourself? In your own words start talking to Jesus about your situation. In Hebrews 4:15 we read (ESV)
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
He knows you better than you know yourself, and still, He loves you and wants to change your heart and take away your sinful desires. Talk to Him about it and give Him everything. Give Him yourself!
Now what?
I know that the problems in our life and our struggle with sin can sometimes be overwhelming. As I said, only God can do something about our situation. We, in our feeble state, can make more of a mess yet. God paid the price for our freedom and through His Holy Spirit is also helping us to abide in Jesus and take possession of our inheritance, as He helped the Israelites to take possession over their promised land. I believe God wants us to succeed in walking in purity as this brings glory to His Name.
The key to having a genuine walk of purity is found in our relationship with God; a fellowship based on faith with actions.
Spend time in His Presence and talk to him about yourself. Tell Him all your secrets. It is not that He does not know them but it will help you see yourself better, and it will help you be released of the things that worry you. Wait for His still, small voice to speak to you. And when He does that, write in your prayer journal what He is telling you and then obey. Make this a priority in your life and a discipline.
You can do that in your room, as you walk or drive your car, in any place and any time. There is power in prayer.
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I am a blogger, writer, pastor, Director of Zion Romania Bible School, husband to Olguta, a father and, most importantly, a child of God. I also completed my studies at the King’s University where I earned a B.A. in Theology with a concentration in Messianic Jewish Studies. I love Israel and I love the ‘Jewishness’ of the Bible.
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