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Search your heart first and answer the two main questions of this post if you want to be truly free from pornography. The first one is, Do you want to be free? And the second one is, Why do you want to be free? The freedom from pornography (or any addiction) you desire might only come after you give the proper answer to these two questions. I had to answer them too. Be honest as you read this blog post.
Search your heart
The first question you need to answer is, Do you really want to be free? Now, maybe for you, it is evident that the answer is yes. However, I want you to stop right now and think again. Take your time and pray and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth. I have prayed for many people over the past years. Many men, when I asked them if they want to be free from pornography, told me that they are not sure they want freedom in this area of their lives. So, I know this is not a question asked in vain.
In Luke 18:35-43, we read about Yeshua healing a blind man. The blind man was crying out to Yeshua to have mercy on him. Even though the people around him did rebuke him, the blind man did not stop crying. In Luke 18:40-41 (ESV) we read
And Jesus stopped and commanded him to be brought to him. When he came near, he asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” He said, “Lord, let me recover my sight.”
The blind man knew that he was blind and he knew what he wanted—to be healed. Moreover, he knew Jesus/Yeshua could heal him.
Be genuine about your situation
That’s precisely what you need to know. You need to know where you are—in darkness and bondage. You also need to know what you want and to Whom to go. And you need to decide if you want to be free from the sexual impurity bondage. Because if you believe you are okay and that you are not blind, you will not cry out to Yeshua for healing.
That is what the Church in Laodicea believed, as we read in Revelation 3:17 (ESV):
For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.
They did not know their real situation. Alternatively, they did not want to accept it and be honest about it.
However, the first step towards healing is to search your heart and be honest with your situation and humble yourself to ask for help. In verse 18 from Revelation 3, Yeshua is inviting the Church to come to Him as He has what they need. Yeshua said
I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see.
Only Yeshua has the real thing for your healing.
Search your heart and see if you are real about yourself
The first step is to be real with yourself, your situation, and see if you want to get out; God knows the reality about you. You need to search your heart and be genuine with yourself. To live a pure and holy life takes time, effort, and is a process. No one can achieve that without the help of the Holy Spirit and the grace of God. Indeed, often it is a battle to live a pleasant life for the Lord in every respect of our lives, as apostle Peter is saying in 1Peter 1:15 (ESV):
but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct
Discipline and perseverance are required from every believer. I believe we do not talk enough about that. A believer who is Spirit-filled is a believer who is disciplined. Not legalistic or religious, but disciplined, like Yeshua was and like the apostles were.
Maybe your walk in purity will not happen over night and not without hard work. And maybe you are caught in the pornography bondage and think of the many things you need to change and don’t know where to begin. I want to encourage you to start where you are but start with honesty—maybe you cannot do many things today but you can be honest. This is the starting point for a walk with Lord Jesus. Search your heart and see if you really want to be free.
I needed to search my heart
I know I had to be honest and confess that I did not really want to be free from pornography. And I had to renounce that attitude, repent, and ask the help of the Holy Spirit to change. Repentance will always involve a practical commitment for change. And repentance and holiness cannot be separated.
I know many will say yes, I want to be free. However, their actions will communicate something different. You see no real desire for change, and somehow they expect change will come only if they say a prayer now and then, or read the Bible in the morning, but nothing else. They still wait for a miracle to fall from heaven and land right on them. However, they do not want to change anything.
You cannot do the same things and expect different results. If one wants different results, he or she needs to do different things. What is that new thing you can do right now to see different results? Ask God and then do it. This is part of the discipleship process. Only radical obedience will please God. Search your heart today!
The second main question
The second question you need to answer is, Why do you want to be free? Now, the answer to this question can be applied to anything else we do and talks about the motives of our heart. The motives of our heart are important to God, even though we rarely realize that.
I remember the day when I had to answer that question too. I did fail in giving the right answer. All of my answers were about me and centered towards me, even though they all were good motives to a certain degree. What would be a good motive to be free?
1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV) says
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
If we do not have our focus on the glory of God, we will not achieve real lasting victory over sin. I know that, as I have tried many things, however without real success. I was looking for my glory, and I wanted to look good in my own eyes and the eyes of people. These were the motives of my heart. Proverbs 25:27 (ESV) says
It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory.
God will not share His glory with anyone, not even with me or you (Isaiah 42:8, 48:11). So, according to 1 Corinthians 10:31 my motivation was wrong, as it was not for the glory of God. Search your heart too.
Search your heart for the hidden motives
To walk in sexual purity is a way in which you and I can honor God. After learning this fantastic truth, I had to stop and confess my sin to God.
So, probably now is another good time for you too to stop and pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the real motives of your heart for wanting to be set free from pornography or any other type of sexual immorality or any other bondage. If the motives of your heart are not for the glory of God, confess it to the Lord.
2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (ESV) says
But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
According to the verses above, a believer is transformed by the Holy Spirit while he or she is beholding the glory of God!
Hebrews 1:1-3 (ESV) says
Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.
According to the above verses, the Son—Yeshua is the radiance of God’s glory.
Look to Yeshua
I did learn that if I want genuine victory over pornography (and not only pornography) in my life, I need to keep my eyes on the glory of God—on Yeshua. It was one of the most amazing things I have learned. Do not keep your eyes on your battle, on sin, on other people or yourself. Keep your eyes on the glory of God as is revealed in Jesus Christ. That might be the piece you missed to be free. I do not know how to emphasize this enough, so I am relying, again and always, on the Holy Spirit to do that in my place. Please, do not miss what I have just said and search your heart!
Commit for total victory
You also need to commit for total victory! No turning back! You need to ask Yeshua to help you determine for nothing less than complete and total victory over pornography and sexual impurity. Until you commit for victory with all your heart, you will not succeed. I hope you already knew that, but I sensed I needed to mention it again.
That means if you fail in keeping yourself pure, you will stand up and rise again and continue your journey. You will again fix your eyes on Yeshua, and for His glory, you will decide to repent and leave the past in the past. Moreover, you will consecrate your whole being—spirit, soul, and body—to victory, for God’s glory. Yes, you can do that.
There is nothing more harmful to your healing then to commit yourself to win with a divided heart. God requires all or nothing. Moreover, God wants us to be involved in this process with a perfect, undivided heart. That will honor God and will bring glory to His Name.
I am sure now you see the importance, to be honest with yourself as you answer these two questions. How you respond to them will decide your failure or your victory. I pray you will be victorious. Please, search your heart!
Spend some time now and meditate upon what you have just read. Ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart, and take your time right now to commit for total victory in your life regarding pornography or any other bondage or sin you battle. Let God inspire your words and do not skip this step. God loves you and is there for you to help you win this battle and apply the victory won on the cross.
Do you agree?
Let me know if there is anything special going on in your life or if you want prayer! Share this post with your friends and don’t forget to leave a comment.
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